Do snakes make you nervous? How about salamanders? Does the mention of a brass reading lamp give you conniptions? Is a long knife something you wish to avoid? A car accident? An odor? Cake? Clues to a bloodthirsty crime?

It is likely that your answers will reveal A Series of Unfortunate Events to be ill-suited for your personal use. A librarian, bookseller, or acquaintance should be able to suggest books more appropriate for your fragile temperament. But to the rarest of readers we say, “‘Beware’ doesn’t begin to cover it.”

BE CAREFUL! This volume constitutes only one-thirteenth of Mr. Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events. Readers unbothered by inclement weather will want to continue with the third installment, The Wide Window. Others will not.